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| Hildabeast - the old gypsy who cast the curse. |
Western Journalism - 1 day ago
Milan, Italy - An old woman believed to be around 70-years old, sprung up behind the first lady while Michelle Obama was attending a fashion show in Milan, Italy, grabbing her arm. Secret Services agents responded in split seconds, but not before the old woman, who's name this reporter has learned is "Hildabeast," uttered a sentence, which those familiar with gypsies in the Milan area said was a gypsy curse.
"It's a very distinct she say. She a say 'Michelle I curse you a mouth and teeth rottener,'" says Fabio Dulchetti, a worker at the big event in Milan. "She a curse her and then she a cackle with some kind a wild crazy laugh."
Other witnesses said that the Hildabeast woman has been seen near Michelle Obama many times before. "I've even seen her at the White House," said one of Mrs. Obama's aids. "I think she believes she used to live there and says it's her house and she wants it back."
Hildabeast was taken away by the Secret Service who apparently released her just a few feet from another group of Secret Service that helped her into a waiting limousine, which then sped off. The loud, cackling laughing could be heard over the sirens of the police escort.
Gypsy curses date back nearly a thousand years, come in a variety of forms, usually presenting the cursed with physical maladies that range from hair loss, to blindness and deformities, eventually even death. The only known cure comes from the very gypsy who made the curse in the first place. "I feel a bad for ah Mrs. Obama. There's ah nothing she can ah do. She can ah expect ah her breath ah to be like a dragon breath and all her teeth ah to get a rotten - and a fall out," Dulchetti explained.
La Zingara (the gypsy in Italian) and spokeswoman for WADG, the World Alliance of Displaced Gypsies, said that the curse was clearly in response to the denigration and racial slur recently made by Michelle Obama "about a gypsies everywhere when she use the 'g' word saying she was a ripped-off. She wouldn't have been ripped-off if she knew how to spend less money," La Zingara said.
With origins in Romania, Gypsies are a wandering nomadic people who travel in wagon caravans, and practice such cultural celebrations as sitting in a circle around an evening campfire clapping while a beautiful young woman dances widely and provocatively to a fast-paced fiddle. They are also known for curses and curse removal, as well as fortune telling. Some police authorities have branded them as thieves and pickpockets, a label that La Zingara said is overblown and causes the fragile self-esteem of gypsies everywhere to suffer.
Mrs. Obama had been attending a White House Summit on Working Families earlier in the week when she was quoted by ABC's Robin Roberts as saying, "The first thing I tried to do, which was a mistake, was that I tried the part-time thing…I realized I was getting gypped on that front."
When asked for comment, senior twitterer for the Administration, Mary Harf responded with continuous use of her fingers as quotations that, "The First Lady wasn't saying that gypsies are rip-off artists, in fact, she didn't even say the word 'gypped' with a 'g' at all. She said 'jeeped' with a 'j,' as she was being driven somewhere in a 'jeep.' And what she was also saying was that she did not do a very good job in 'jewing' them down. So there's no need for FOX News and their reporters to be running around all over the place like it's a 'Chinese fire drill' or something, making baseless accusations."
When pressed further by reporters about the altercation with Hildabeast, Harf added, "The First Lady is not concerned by the attack on her - by this woman - a very sick woman, who is apparently mentally ill, and that the first lady has compassion about and feels very sorry for. In the meantime Mrs. Obama will finish her shopping, she's here to buy some custom-designed shoes and dresses, and then fly back on Air Force One's spare 747 to LA for the Beyonce and Jay Z Democratic fund raiser." Harf was later seen climbing into a leased van carrying a carton that appeared to contain Listerine antiseptic mouthwash.
La Zingara was not satisfied with the first lady's explanation and has said that her organization is planning a million wagon caravan to Washington D.C this fall as a protest. In addition to the caravan, all gypsy fortune tellers worldwide have been asked by WADG to begin casting mass curses at both Michelle and Mr. Obama. Those spells are set to start immediately it was said.
In a related story, an IRS official has announced that all traveling bands of gypsies will need to immediately file paperwork substantiating a permanent mailing address so that they may be audited. The source of that announcement cannot be confirmed and all associated eMails pertaining to the announcement have been deleted in fear of reprisals by curse.
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